Expert dating, marriage, and relationship advice

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to update everyone on my situation that I'd posted about before and received helpful advice here. I had been in a relationship with a M. who would get VERY close/intimate and pull away more than normal. It was very intense. He also told me he was "crazy," which I didn't fully understand.

I now have my answers. He told me he is severely bipolar and will not take meds, which is why his marriage fell apart. He said he gets violent/abusive to people when he has a "bad" day and has been hospitalized in the past. Obviosuly it was a lot for me to swallow. I am thankful to him for being honest and warning me, and am disappointed that he would not get treatment that is available and could help him. Obviously, this relationship cannot continue, as I cannot put myself in harm's way, but I do still have strong feelings for him that I have to get over. It's so sad!

I guess I really need some support and hugs.

In the meantime, I am going on a blind date tomorrow, so that should be fun! Something to look forward to.

We have been doing well...my M and I of 2.5 years.

BUT.

We had that "future" talk recently (last week) where I told him that if he never sees himself married to tell me now and we can be great great friends (one day) but he can't be selfish and has to let me find the man I am supposed to be with if it is not him.
We are in our early 30's. Had one break up four months long - caused by INSANE miscommunication. LOL

ANYWAY - his response was, "Why do you think I am some swingin' bachelor? I am tired of my life as it is too. I think that you are a little ahead of me...but not as much as you think you are." (No CLUE what this means *sigh*)
In any case, the remainder of the weekend together was fun...all was good, that particulatr talk ended with kissyhuglove.

What the hell. ANYWAY - that's an entirely different thread (in Dating Ups&Downs)...

I NEED YOU Vs ...My M has been soooo quiet this week. He is kind of "distant."
Last night...he drops a bomb on me -- tells me that he was served with papers and his 3 business partners are SUING HIM.

He has 3 biz partners, the business hasn't been doing so good AT ALL. He used to tell me everything about what was happening, but now keeps me away from the minutiae...I am thinking that he doesnt want me to know just how bad it is?? I have no clue...
Im sad

One day about a month ago, we were out with some friends...the friend said under his breath to me, "I hope you have your own money if you intend to marry {My M's Name}." I said, "What?" and he just chuckled under his breath.

My M isnt rich, rich - but he is well-off enough. Though his business has suffered quite a bit in this mini-recessions or whatever it is.
I have a respectable job and make my own money.
We are in our early 30's. We don't live together, but close by (I moved from FL to Ca to be closer to him - WE moved ME, rather ...no kids). I pay my OWN BILLS. LOL

I was able to glean from what my M told me that this lawsuit has something to do with the guy my M hired to do the books for the company {he and his partners' company}??

I am sick bc he has been so non-responsive (not responding AT ALL to my daytime sweet texts etc like he ALWAYS does and so not himself with me. What the hell is going on - and better yet, how do I do this?? Just "trust" that he is handling his business?

I wont give "advice" I know that is a no-no. And I don't try and delve deeper than he tells me because its OBVIOUS he has a lot of pride and doesnt want me in on whatever the heck is happening to him..so what and how can I be there for my M when I have no idea what the hell is really going on here?

Am I in the middle of some Anne Hathaway GARBAGE?

What would you guys do?

What's even worse is that I HAVE MAJOR 90/10'S. My ex husband cheated on me bigtime and always pulled away when he did. I found out after the fact (after I divorced him that he was "cheating" and not just "pulling away.")
So what is happening now is that I am having panic attacks and wanting to RUN FROM MY M bc his "pulling away" (for WHATEVER reason) is scaring me and dredging up old feelings in me from my ex.

Help me PLEASE.

Hi guys - first time posting. I have a question. I have given my boyfriend of 3 years the proverbial commitment ultimatum. Not to marry me, just to be exclusive with a possibility of marriage in the future. We are both in our 40's, divorced, and both have children. After 2 divorces, he claims that his issue is that he is deathly afraid of another failed marriage. I understand, yet I don't understand, because he says he loves me, yet says he is unsure about me. Anyway, we have been broken up now for a few months, with sporadic contact from him, which leads me to think that he will be coming back. My question is this - I know that during this time he has been seeing, and sleeping with, other women. While this could be him trying to figure out how he feels about me, how am I supposed to feel about this? If he comes back, am I to just let go of everything that happened while we were broken up? I need other peoples thoughts on this.

Thanks,
daisy

Hi guys,

Feeling like I need to post to keep myself from going mad. Need your help. Been with my current M for nearly 3 months. In the begining it was classic he was always the one doing the talk, I miss you, can't wait to see you, and he spent a few weeks trying to tell me he'd fallen in love with me. I kept asking him to wait abit long before we started using the L word as it was already moving so fast and I didn't want it to end premeturely because of that speed.

The last few days I've been feeling anxious. I'm not sure where this has come from as I've been so happy and laidback- which is actually very unlike me in a relationship that is going so well. We always agreed that we would have a relationship where we would talk to each other rather than hiding from what we want to say, and I confided in him the other night saying that I was scared of how well things were going and that I was going to miss him like mad when he goes away this weekend.

He said I had nothing to worry about and that he understood why I was feeling the way I do, but on the whole it did nothing to stop my worries.( Maybe this is my uncertainty coming out also?)

Since then the communication has been lax, yesterday he sent me one email instead of a dozen and I messaged him this morning and he send me short sharp replied rather than chatty, how was your night messages which he always does. I'm begining to think that he has moved into a delayed uncertainty, and I'm not sure how to handle it so that I give him the best possible chance to come out the otherside of it, still wanting to be with me.

Something not right here and if he is pulling away I don't want to break this rubberband.

Please Please! can someone give me some pointers on how to allow him to be in this stage without looking like I've gone off him but giving him his space.

Thanks

So my M and I have this break going for 3 months with no end date in sight.. he wanted it to figure out what he wants blah blah..

did 2 month NC maybe was harsh on my part? He didnt call me.. but then said he didnt want to stir up bad feelings if I was doing well... after I had finally called him left a message saying hi.. he called back in 2 seconds...

then I called 2x more and 2 emails.. all of which I regret.. he knows I love him and dont want to lose him but we faught.. I was pushing for answers, if we were over now ect.. I said I dont know what i should do??? He didnt expect me to wait for him.. I dont know why.. like Im gonna run out and find mr right LOL...

he then said after our last call... if I told u 4 months would it have made a difference?? um yea it would have.. so i changed the subj... about him .. didnt go so well.. but we ended it ok not great. 2 weeks again nothing.

he texted me sun for my bday... nothing since.. he wrote "Happy Birthday?"

WTF does that mean?> I said thanks...

what should i do?? Do I leave him alone... and be in limbo? do I give it to 4 months.. maybe he was gonna cal me after 4 months? OR do I call with a friendly hi whats up.. nothing serious.. and hang up... then see what he does??

Im stuck.. I guess he knows I care per the email.. but that was a month ago.. we faught since then..
nothing major.. just about his depression.. oh and the fact he gets annoyed with always talking about the break

Should I just try and call friendly.. no relationship talk.. maybe he'll call me

OR does he want space to see how it feels to not have me in his life and can he deal with never speaking to me again.. If I call I ruin all that progress... IF ANY>>> IF thats what he doing!

HELP Im confused as hell!