How do you cope with your ex finding a new partner when you're still alone?
You just got the news from a trusted source: your ex has a new significant other, and the two of them are quite an "item" among your circle of friends.
It's understandable that, upon hearing this news, many emotions would arise: sadness, bitterness, and, of course, jealousy. After all, what right has your ex to find happiness with another person before you are able to accomplish that for yourself? Does his/her ability to be happy with someone else mean that your marriage failed because you were the "bad" partner in the relationship?
Everyone -- including your ex -- should have a second chance at a successful relationship. Does that mean that this current partnership will be that opportunity? Not necessarily. If your ex has not yet addressed the issues that affected your marriage, then these same concerns may stand in the way of any future happiness in a relationship.
As to whether their happiness reflects on your divorce, remember this: people form relationships for different reasons at different times in their lives. The reasons that you and your ex were attracted to each other, thought through any initial concerns, agreed to exclusivity in your relationship, formed an intimate bond, and later committed to marriage may be irrelevant to the needs and desires that you both have today. Whatever tore you apart may have torn any relationship asunder. All you can do is try your best under the circumstances given to you at the time. If you can say you did that, then don't feel you failed yourself or the relationship.
Now it's time to put this new development into perspective: does your ex's new relationship really affect you?
Yes, but for the better. Here are four reasons as to why:
If you need some help moving on, the Ask Mars Venus coaches are excellent sources for divorce advice. At all stages of the process, we are able to help isolate the core issues that you may be facing and work with you to heal them. Although advice may seem to be plentiful and available from many different places, it is hard to find a trusted source. The Mars Venus Coaching program offers you a chance to not only get advice about your divorce, but work with another person who will guide you as you heal. Coaching is a partnership in the true sense of the word. Even if you only call one time, that too can help to get you started.
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