Every man should understand the art of pleasing a woman
sexually. Based on the feedback from our Martian readers, most men feel
that they are doing great in this department. Since there are so many
ways to please a woman, we offer this refresher in case there are any areas
that may have been neglected lately. While women can be complex, if a
man follows some basic rules, he can expect his partner to experience
pleasure over and over again. This simple guide will show you just what
to do to add spice to your sexual relationship.
When making love to a woman, the most overlooked aspect is that a woman
needs stimulation on multiple levels in order to completely enjoy
herself. In general, when men focus only on the physical act, they will
reach climax. This is not true for most women. Women typically
need to feel desired physically, mentally, and emotionally if they are
to let go and experience the joyous release of climax.
Many men have shared with us that sex can be very satisfying to them
even if it's like a one course meal. The main dish is so tasty that there
isn’t any need for appetizers or desert. Making love to a woman
is different. The experience can be likened to an elegant five-course
meal, where each item tastes better than the last. It is the
lingering taste from each course that makes the next dish so sumptuous.
When you are able to enjoy each part of the meal equally, the experience
results in total satisfaction at the end. But…If you skip part of the
meal, it’s never quite the same. Sure, fast food might be satisfying
for you from time to time, but we all need nourishment in different ways.
Let’s
explore the 5 courses experienced when making love to a woman.
-
The
setting.
When you are planning a romantic evening with your partner, the setting
can be especially important for how the night will unfold. We are not
just talking about the physical setting. Our Venusian readers
tell us that the emotional setting is the most neglected area for women.
Most women need to feel relaxed in order to be in the mood. If she
is preoccupied with other obligations, or stress she may need to deal
with these before feeling like making love. The simplest way to
help her relax is by encouraging her to talk about the stress she is
feeling. Ask her honestly about her life, her day, and the things
that are on her mind. Show her you care about her by listening to her
talk. Take your time. Keep in mind she may have a lot to talk about.
Once she is able to release her stress she will be much more
focused on you and your evening. If you truly pay attention
to this area you will both be amazed at the heightened response you'll
share.
The
actual setting is important too. If you have gone out to dinner or you’re
having a simple dinner at home, the lighting, music, and overall ambience
can help her to relax further. Light some candles and play some soft music. This
will help her to focus her own desire to be touched, and touch in return.
If you’re at home a hot bath can also help a woman to relax. Run the
water, add some bubbles, and play some music. Give her the special
treatment of time to get in the mood. All
too often men forget that while their sexual desires are encouraging
them to move faster, women need to warm up slowly. It is this
slow process that connects a woman with her sexual needs. By gently
stimulating her one step at a time, her desire to make love is awakened.
-
Beginning
to touch
Touching
a woman can begin simply by touching her hair, her hand or other non-sexual
parts of her body. Offering to wash her hair in the bath, or rub her shoulders
is a soothing way to begin touching her body. By
initiating touch in this gentle and loving way you are saying that the parts
of her body that do not offer sexual stimulation to you are also important.
When you are offering this non-sexual touch, you want to be sure to
spend an equal amount of time doing this as you would with any of the
other activities involved with making love. Keep in mind that on Venus,
women offer equal attention to all activities. If you give a woman
flowers you get the same number of points if you give her a dozen roses
as you do when you give her one. If you spend 5 minutes rubbing
her back and 15 minutes having sex, she may leave the experience feeling
that the sex is what was important; not the whole evening.
Begin kissing her slowly at first, keeping your desire to devour her
in check. Women are particularly stimulated when their many erogenous
zones are kissed, nibbled, and suckled. Before removing her clothes
you can kiss her mouth without tongue, and then with tongue. Kiss her
neck, ear lobes, shoulders, and upper chest. The long process of kissing
her before removing clothes will continue increasing her arousal. A
man should remember that to increase a woman’s pleasure he needs to
delay direct stimulation. It will take longer, and sometimes
it will seem as if nothing is working, but her eventual pleasure will
be even greater.
-
Removing
her clothes
When you begin undressing a woman, it should be slow and enticing.
Unless you are having steamy sex, when you make love to a woman remove
her clothes one article at a time. Keep in mind that sometimes
leaving something on can also be erotic. Begin by teasing her. Remove
her blouse but not her bra. Continue kissing and caressing her through
her bra, until she is ready for you to touch her breasts directly.
Use slow, rhythmic back and forth movements to stimulate her breasts.
You can circle the breast with your hands or your mouth. Slowly her
nipples will become erect, indicating her arousal.
After
stimulating both breasts like this, you can remove her bra. Removing a woman’s
bra can be quite tricky. If you are not sure how to do this it can be an awkward
moment. The best way to learn how to do this is to practice when you partner
is not at home. Practice fastening and unfastening the clasp so the next
time you have the chance the movement is smooth and fluid.
Remain at the upper half of her body until you have caressed
her fully. As you sense her longing increase, begin to slowly move your
hands toward the lower half of her body.
-
Increasing
her desire
To increase the desire she is already feeling, as you begin moving
south surprise her by teasing her a bit. Using your hands rub over
her clothes while kissing her nipples. When you do this you are stimulating
her on multiple levels and her arousal is growing. A man should begin
to touch between her legs only when he thinks she is already wet. Sometimes
it’s good to first touch around the lining of her panties and gradually
move them aside to touch her directly.
It
can be very exciting for a woman if he doesn’t suddenly pull down her panties
but instead explores with them on for a while. Instead of taking them off,
he can begin touching the inside edge of her panties from front to back. Exploring
her buttocks and then moving back to touch and feel for her wetness before
exploring further.
Eventually he can remove her panties and explore her inner thighs,
circling her whole vulva and eventually touching her clitoris. Often
the clitoris is the most important missed part of a woman’s body. Women
write to AskMarsVenus.com asking for advice on how to
encourage men to not only touch her clitoris but to touch it longer
than they do. The truth is that upwards of 98% of the orgasms
women experience come from direct stimulation to the clitoris.
Failing to stimulate the clitoris is like trying to help a man have
an orgasm without touching his penis! Most women reach orgasm after having their clitoris stimulated for 5-20
minutes. Depending on your intention, you may choose to bring your
partner to climax before or after you make love. For some men, their
ability to spend 20 minutes focused on a woman’s clitoris is greater
after they have experienced orgasm. Our advice is to try it
both ways and see what works best for you.
Stimulating a woman’s clitoris can happen orally or using your hands;
both are effective. Again, your partner may have a preferred way and
you can explore her body trying different techniques. The key
is to give her enough attention to bring her to climax. Many
women complain that their partner does not spend enough time. Men report
spending 15 minutes stimulating a woman whereas women report receiving
3 minutes of attention. It's interesting how we perceive things differently
when we are giving and when we are receiving. One somewhat unromantic
way to check this out is to place a clock near the bed and periodically
check how much time you’re really spending, you might be surprised!
Ideally, if you can make the giving as important to you as receiving
you won't want it to end quickly.
One trick to helping a woman achieve maximum pleasure is to bring her
close to orgasm and resist the urge to push her over the edge. Women
experience more intense orgasms when they are stimulated and brought
to the edge of orgasm and allowed to relax. Once this happens one or
two times, when she finally does have her orgasm it is much more powerful.
Each time she gets close her longing and desire increase, and when she
is finally able to release that energy, the built-up desire makes the
orgasm even more powerful.
-
Joining
together
Once a woman has had an orgasm her body is the most ready for a man
to enter her. A woman’s longing to join with her partner is
her primary concern, so it doesn't matter to her if the sex lasts for
2 minutes or 10. If a man has not had sex in a while, his
desire may overwhelm him and the process ends quickly. If this happens,
a man can stimulate his partner until his erection returns and begin
again. Because many women are able to achieve orgasms with little refractory
period this can be a wonderful time to bring her to climax again while
he is preparing to enter her for a second time.
When a man knows and practices these advanced bedroom skills, everyone
involved experiences the pleasure they desire. Our information is based
on feedback from hundreds of women. Keep in mind however that everyone
is different. The best way to know what would make your partner even more
satisfies is to ask. This in itself can be an intimate
form of foreplay. |
