Ask Mars Venus: Relationship & Dating Coaching
Created by John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Sex on the First Date

Sex on the first date is one of those situations that everyone seems to have an opinion about. Simply put, it happens. The question that remains to be answered though is this: Is sex on the first date ever a good idea?

These days, it seems that first-date sex is a little more common – people meet online, talk for a while by email and phone, and already feel so close to each other that, oftentimes, sex on the first date can seem like a natural step. Unfortunately, as our readers and callers tell us, the results can be disastrous. Meeting in person for the first time brings the real chemistry factors into play; once you lay eyes on each other, this is the start of a brand new relationship. Whatever you talked about before meeting, however intimate you got through words, you were still in the pre-attraction stage. Upon meeting in person, the five stages of dating are truly beginning.

Whether you met online or have a first date with someone new you met the “regular” way, the five stages of dating still apply. Ideally, sex should happen when you feel like your primary needs are being met in a relationship and you also feel you can freely meet your partner’s needs without expectations. Sex too soon leads to much confusion for many people.

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Coach of the Week - Meet Coach Lauren

Hello, my name is Lauren and I am a relationship coach with Ask Mars Venus. As your coach, I will create a space where you feel safe to talk about your feelings and thoughts. Click here to read more about Coach Lauren!

What are our callers saying about coaching and their coaches this week?

"Susan was really helpful in hearing my situation, and looking below the surface to discern what was really going on. She was especially helpful in translating what was going on in a guy's mind, which gave me direction in how and what to communicate in response."

To send in your feedback, click here!
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NOTE TO SELF:

The Unfolding Process of Sharing

Sometimes, when a woman needs to share, she doesn't know exactly what she wants to say. She may have so much to share that she doesn't know where to start. Or she may need time to share a progression of feelings and thoughts before she discovers the point she wants to make. A man also goes through this preparation process but in a different way. He ponders things within, comes to a conclusion, and then shares it outwardly.

A woman, on the other hand, just wants to share and connect. She wants to enjoy being together. For her, communication is not just a sharing of information; it is a sharing of herself. It is a basis for intimacy. It is fulfilling and centering.

For a woman, communication is not just a sharing of information, it is a sharing of herself.

To read more tips like this one or to learn about calling your own private coach visit www.askmarsvenus.com today!

20 Second Advice:

"Do not offer advice without being asked - just appreciate him."

Ask your coach what effect this might have on your relationship!