Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register ) My Controls · View New Posts

115 Pages V  « < 17 18 19 20 21 > »   
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Totally Confused And Waiting..., Rubber Banding or Wanting Out?
Offlineanad
post 06/24/11 05:55 PM
Post #73


AMVU Bachelor's Degree
*****
Gender: Venusian Venusian
Group: Peer Moderator
Posts: 6608
Joined: 12/02/08
From: Colorado
Relationship Status: In a Relationship



QUOTE (dunnc @ 06/24/11 12:52 PM) *
TRUST is everything to a man.



And...he also has to earn that trust too...

I think what makes us treat Ms different than we would a girlfriend is the physical intimacy part...it makes us more vulnerable as they are the only ones we share this level of intimacy with...so, yeah, it makes it all different, in my book...

I've been giving all of this great thought...and given my last relationship, I am siding with JR and MK...I am all for giving a man his space, allowing him to rubberband, cave, etc, just as I would anyone, but Ms also need to understand that in order to have a girlfriend, to be in a meaningful relationship, it requires effort and consistency...

John Gray tells us that Ms need trust, admiration and acceptance...but we Vs also need devotion, respect and reassurance...

Its a two way street...

Delfina, I thought your text was perfectly fine to send...it was real and appropriate given all thats been going on...his initial smug response and his lack of reponse is telling you that you have been involved with an emotionally unhealthy dude, who is perhaps cabable of real cruelty...I am sorry you are going thru this...I know the feeling of having great hope for a relationship...

He is not the right M for you, but have no doubts you will meet someone that gives you the respect, devotion and reassurance you deserve...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Offlineanad
post 06/24/11 06:00 PM
Post #74


AMVU Bachelor's Degree
*****
Gender: Venusian Venusian
Group: Peer Moderator
Posts: 6608
Joined: 12/02/08
From: Colorado
Relationship Status: In a Relationship



QUOTE (Meandering @ 06/24/11 03:53 PM) *
In this particular instance, the M ASKED for space. I think it should have been given to him.



I think Delfina did give him space, plenty of it...he is now sending mixed messages, playing with her head...

what he is doing is not right...in fact, I think he is being a richard...Delfina has feelings, her needs too...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
OfflineMeandering
post 06/24/11 06:46 PM
Post #75


AMVU Senior
****
Gender: Venusian Venusian
Group: Registered Users
Posts: 4790
Joined: 01/18/08
Relationship Status: In a Relationship



Let me clarify what I meant about giving him the space he asked for, that doesn't mean Delfina's needs need to be ursurped, it could have meant that she responded to him by saying "No M" or she could have said "Sure M, take some space, but I expect to hear from you by X date"..... not suggesting for one second that she didn't have a say in this nor that she couldn't let her needs be known also.

AS for suggesting she gave him plenty of space, I'll concede that's a possibility but.... they were just together on Monday, of this week...........the fact that he didn't call her when he said he was going to became this week's issue and thus the anxiety emotional roller coaster ensued with that on top of him asking for space....

I don't blame Delfina for these feelings, nor do I think she was wrong to send the text. I do think her M's response was awful. I also think his mixed messages speak to this space he claims he needs and the feelings he said he was having. My point of repeating that is that he didn't just disappear, he was clear here. He clearly said "I need X because I am feeling Y." I think when any part of a couple makes that kind of statement the other half needs to take a step back also, and take that same space too and start to rethink things themselves. WE V's tend to start to over analyze it all and spend more time thinking about how HE feels about us instead of thinking about how WE feel about him. We worry HE is going to break up with us, instead of thinking that maybe we should break up with him.

Anyway.... I may be rambling now.. sowwy smile.gif


--------------------
love thyself first
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Offlineanad
post 06/24/11 06:48 PM
Post #76


AMVU Bachelor's Degree
*****
Gender: Venusian Venusian
Group: Peer Moderator
Posts: 6608
Joined: 12/02/08
From: Colorado
Relationship Status: In a Relationship



I would feel yanked around, by this point...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

115 Pages V  « < 17 18 19 20 21 > » 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Time is now: 10/24/14 06:15 AM

1-888-MARS-VENUS