Totally Confused And Waiting..., Rubber Banding or Wanting Out? Options

[Meandering]

I think everyone has a different tolerance level MK. For example, in THIS situation, had Delfina felt more comfortable in her understanding of the caving stuff, maybe she could have calmed her anxieties and found acceptance along with the patience to say "what will be will be" and to let go and let god. In that event, she wouldn't have "waited" per se but continued on with her full life and as time went on without hearing from her M, one would hope she would have moved on without him. How much time is entirely up to the individual and life circumstances. This isn't a perfect world

I think what we V's have to ask ourselves is HOW MUCH TIME am I willing to be in limbo? It's a cost analysis if you will. You have X time invested in the relationship and you are working towards til death do you part.... and you think this is the one.... how much time then should you give him? surely more than a few days, and possibly even more than a few weeks. It's all relative.

I think we V's get far too impatient and far too caught up in time lines, and whether he called or not when he said he would, and whether we should put off making plans for htis coming weekend ...in CASE he calls. That's bs...we should NOT be getting caught up in those things, but we do. We have far more power in all this than we give ourselves.

[MandyKay]

I agree with you AK that there isn't much point in contacting a man that hasn't contacted you.

I guess I am just hearing two different arguments here that don't support one another:

1.) Leave a man alone
2.) If a man hasn't contacted you, it's over.

Or do they support each other?

Really not trying to be argumentative here, just curious on the stances of others.

[MandyKay]

I think what we V's have to ask ourselves is HOW MUCH TIME am I willing to be in limbo? It's a cost analysis if you will. You have X time invested in the relationship and you are working towards til death do you part.... and you think this is the one.... how much time then should you give him? surely more than a few days, and possibly even more than a few weeks. It's all relative.

Agree with you on this.

I've been with men on both sides of the coin. The "chronic caver" and my current M who does pull away but I do have to encourage him to have his own time. Two totally different men, and maybe it's because I work in a male dominated field and expend more male energy that it just works for me to be in this type of dynamic.

To each their own I suppose and I totally agree that everyone has their own tolerance and breaking points.

[MandyKay]

I agree with you AK that there isn't much point in contacting a man that hasn't contacted you.

I guess I am just hearing two different arguments here that don't support one another:

1.) Leave a man alone
2.) If a man hasn't contacted you, it's over.

Or do they support each other?

Really not trying to be argumentative here, just curious on the stances of others.

I mean this in the sense of a relationship, because we all know a man that doesn't call when we are just dating is a man that isn't interested.