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 What Am I Doing Wrong Here? |
 07/19/10 05:59 AM
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#9
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AMVU Sophomore  Gender: 
Venusian
Group: Registered Users Posts: 1108 Joined: 06/01/09 From: UK currently Relationship Status: In a Relationship  |
QUOTE (lynah @ 07/18/10 02:56 PM)  . He was to ring me sat night, but didnt ring which wasnt an issue, I was in bed early. Hi agree with all the other ladies, just want to pull this out of your post and comment. It was an issue that he didn't ring when he said he would. With new guys, if they don't follow through on a promise to call, I take that as a pretty major red flag. With all the different ways to communicate these days, even if he couldn't call as promised he could have sent a quick text to say something like 'sorry last minute plans and am out with friends. will call you X day at X time'... Something I've learned is that it's VERY important to watch his behaviour right at the start..bear in mind, most people (m's and v's ) are on their very best behaviour at the beginning. Things like not calling when he said he would are really not a good indication that he's going to be reliable and consistent down the line. This is just my experience and my opinion though! |
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07/19/10 06:02 AM
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#10
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 AMVU Bachelor's Degree Gender: 
Group: Peer Moderator Posts: 9314 Joined: 05/11/06 Relationship Status: Single |
QUOTE Something I've learned is that it's VERY important to watch his behaviour right at the start..bear in mind, most people (m's and v's ) are on their very best behaviour at the beginning. Things like not calling when he said he would are really not a good indication that he's going to be reliable and consistent down the line. This is just my experience and my opinion though! Yeah, and mine as well!!!:) |
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07/19/10 06:58 AM
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#11
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 AMVU Senior Gender:
Venusian
Group: Peer Moderator Posts: 4611 Joined: 06/04/08 From: Boston Relationship Status: Single |
QUOTE (lynah @ 07/19/10 01:22 AM) And yes, in future, I will insist that if a plan is made, it is a firm plan and not "I will contact you re a time tomorrow" scenario. Actually, you never want to "insist" on anything with an M you don't know. Instead see if he makes firm plans with you. Remember, in early days you are in evaluation mode. If he doesn't firm up plans at least a day or two in advance you can make your own plans. You can always tell him, "I'm sorry M, when I didn't hear from you to firm things up yesterday I went ahead and made plans for today." He'll learn to make definite plans in advance, or he won't get your time! 
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07/19/10 08:41 AM
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#12
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AMVU Sophomore Gender:
Venusian
Group: Registered Users Posts: 1598 Joined: 09/28/06 From: california |
I agree with MB. Insisting on anything in the early stages is not the thing to do.
A proper M will make the plan and follow through. If an M does not say, "!:00 at XYZ restaurant" you do not have a date. In fact, I would take it to mean, "Maybe we can get together if nothing better comes along." In that case, I would go right ahead and make my own plans, or at least not refuse anything that came along. Learn not to take any of this personally. |
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| Time is now: 09/10/10 04:40 PM |
