Initial Introductions And The Contact Afterwards Options

[CGC81]

I've been OLD for 6 months, learnt a lot about myself, and Ms. Recently discovered this website, have read many of the previous threads, and got myself a copy of MVOAD, so am a new convert

Not sure if it's been addressed already, but after having the first meeting/introduction with an online M, and if i'm interested, should I be sending out a "Nice to have met you, I enjoyed your company" sort of message/email (not to pursue but just to confirm my interest) or wait for him to contact me?

One M didn't arrange a dinner that we'd previously mentioned about, because he was waiting for me to express my continued interest in him after our initial coffee meeting.

And last night i met another M, and I tried the practice of sharing more and asking less questions of him. It was a great conversation, a lot of banter, but in hindsight I felt like I was yabbering too much, it felt a bit unnatural for me. Do Ms really prefer that?

[jessicarabbit97]

Hey, CG, welcome aboard. Just about everything under the sun has been discussed at one point or another - we repeat ourselves a lot. However, there are always different nuances, so no big deal.

"Pursuit" in the JG vernacular is your calling him with the intent on arranging dates and asking him out. We definitely recommend that you do not do that. There are subtle differences with each particular case.

It's hard to predict if this guy is one who will appreciate the nice "thanks" text, which is NOT pursuing, although there is some other dating dude who says that "we men know exactly what you women are up to when you send the thank you the next day - you are wanting us to contact you and ask you out again."

In other words, one guy might be offended or think you are not interested if you do NOT send that text, while another guy might feel "crowded" or "pushed" if you do. This isn't a science where you can replicate the same outcome every single time.

So the short answer is do whatever you want to do, but keep it short and don't initiate anything further. Not yet.

Again, I think it depends on the guy as to whether he thought you were perfectly charming by talking about yourself or whether he thought you were self-centered! There's just no way to know for sure. I think, in general, if you felt he was interested and you had fun, you're probably OK. I think what JG was talking about mostly is that sometimes a guy can be into "selling himself" to a woman and can get caught up in an endless loop of talking about who he is, what he does, why he's the best. In those cases, it's perfectly OK for a woman to interrupt him and talk about herself some. It kinda breaks that loop.

The key to dating is to really be yourself at your BEST self. You want to match up with a guy who will not only allow you to be yourself, but who will really like you as you are. You don't want to match up with a guy who makes you tap dance through a conversation, or who requires you to contact him x amount of times to say thanks for the coffee or whatever.

Good luck.

The MV principles are sound, but they are not rigid rules, so the interpretation of them can vary.

[marsoe]

One M didn't arrange a dinner that we'd previously mentioned about, because he was waiting for me to express my continued interest in him after our initial coffee meeting.

I don't know the person, but some men seek women who will mother them and this could be one way to act in order to push the pursuing to your side of the table. Personally I would stay passive and see if a M is interested enough to keep coming back - and make sure to say something about having had a good time before I leave the date, if it is true

[anad]

One M didn't arrange a dinner that we'd previously mentioned about, because he was waiting for me to express my continued interest in him after our initial coffee meeting.

I don't know the person, but some men seek women who will mother them and this could be one way to act in order to push the pursuing to your side of the table. Personally I would stay passive and see if a M is interested enough to keep coming back - and make sure to say something about having had a good time before I leave the date, if it is true

There is also some male dating advice out there...Vs should pursue...