This Past Dating Weekend..., they come in phases.. Options

[MasterP]

I thought I'd take a moment to share my dating experiences this weekend. For whatever reason, dating seems to come in phases. I'll go months with none, then get a bunch all at once. This is one of those phases where I have a bunch. I met them both thru the OLD site with the old guy.

The first date was yesterday evening. We met at a coffee shop on the main street in her city at m. She lives only 15-20 min away which is nice! I actually liked how we met... I got there first and called her to let her know I arrived. She said she was 5 minutes out and would call me when she gets there. At first i thought that was a little odd... since I was already inside the place, but whatever. She called me when she got there, so went outside and didn't see her. I looked around and across the street and didn't see anyone. Then I looked to my right and saw her walking towards the shop, and she waved at me.

I'm not sure why, but it was just super cool to meet her outside. She looked absolutely stunning - WAY better than her OLD pic. Both of us were dressed nice, but not over-the-top. I let her know it too

Before she arrived, I set a silent alarm on my phone for 9pm because I made reservations at a restaurant for 9:15, and it was about a 10-15min walk. The restaurant was a wine-bar/tapas place which got great reviews, except it was a little noisy. So when I made the reservation, I asked for a quiet(er) table.

We talked at the coffee shop for just under an hour. There were a couple of moments when the conversation went quiet, and I had to hasten to say something to keep things going.. nothing sucks more than the awkward silence! She is a pharmacist who works at a local hospital dispensing meds to patients. It's a pretty straight-forward line of work, and she can get a job just about anywhere. She was raised in the same city she lives in, and only left to go to college about an hour east of here. We walked over to the restaurant and had a really nice dinner. She wasn't too much of a wine taster, and was VERY selective on the ones she picked out. She only liked whites, not reds, and sweet whites at that.

As the alcohol went down, we both relaxed some more and opened up. We are both looking for LTR's. She loves to travel and has been to some amazing places which I really like. We shared some awesome travel experiences and talked about places we both want to visit. At the end of the date, I walked her back to her car, gave her a long hug and a peck on the cheek. We both agreed to a second date. I called her this afternoon to let her know I had a great time and wanted to see if she was up for getting together this Tues/Wed. She mentioned that she loves Korean BBQ and I do too, so I'm going to take her to this really good place my friends took me to on my bday. There's a desert mall next door which she'll like too. She called me back this afternoon and left a v-mail, so we're on for a 2nd date... it's just a question of when.

This afternoon I met up with a second V in her city, which unfortunately is about 45 min away from me. That kinda sucks. I met her at a coffee shop on the main street. We sat on one of those big sofas next to each other, and the conversation was pretty much non-stop. Never a dull moment! She is VERY cute, and I was very drawn to her OLD picture - although I was suspicious since she only posted a face-pic (no full body). She is a little big in some areas but that didn't really seem to matter much because she has an adorable face, killer smile, and amazing personality, and I had a good feeling about her based on some things she wrote to me during the communication process. For a living, she runs a non-profit based out of a rough neighborhood in Oakland. She works with at-risk youth and develops opportunities to interact with students so they can appreciate school and learning instead of turning to gangs and drugs. I thought that was VERY cool. She also has two bachelors degrees in graphic design and in veterinary science. Initially she wanted to be a vet, but during an internship, she realized she couldn't handle how horribly some people treat their animals... so she went into design instead, and ended up in volunteer work.

Coffee was a lot of fun, then we walked over to a pottery studio I scoped out that was about a 10 minute walk away. The only faux pas was we got there just after 4 and they closed at 5, so we were a little rushed... but we had a great time painting ceramics and talking. It was actually a lot easier because most of the time when we were talking, we didn't have to look at each other because we were too busy looking down while painting our ceramics. That takes a little of the edge off.

After they closed at 5, I had made plans for us to grab dinner nearby but she had to move her car. The garage where she parked had a 3 hour limit and she was approaching that. While walking back to her car, I broached the subject of dinner and she said she was nowhere near hungry. I told her that I planned to take her to a certain restaurant. She said that was really thoughtful but we can do that for next time (good sign!). She loves to roller blade and does it competitively, and wanted to get some skating time in today before it got dark, so I walked her back to her car, where we had a very nice little make-out session before she left

... and there's a 3rd V I am supposed to call and set up a date with. I am interested in her.. she does some amazing work with schools all across the country in stopping teen-bullying in high schools. That really resonated with me because of my past experiences with bullies when I was a kid. The problem is that during the academic school year, she travels out of town every other week. She did say though that when in an exclusive relationship, she likes to spend a lot of together time, and even admitted to me that she can be a little needy at times - which I thought was very refreshing honesty. I would want to explore this topic more in person.

I'm looking over both these V's who are incredible people and am having a little trouble determining who is the best fit for me. One of the things I talked to both V's about was scheduling and timing early on while dating, and my view that if something is important to you, then you make the time for it. My reason for discussing this was to convey my dating approach, so hopefully there wouldn't be too many surprises with me wanting to spend lots of together time with her. With the first V, we actually talked a lot about the differences with men and women - and yes a little MV got tossed into the discussion.... but I think I really impressed her when I started talking about brain chemistry differences and biochemical responses to stress. She said I did good

Haha, and they both drive Hondas, so I fixing their cars would be easy... especially the V who's farther away because her car has TONS of problems. While she was telling me about them, I kept thinking, "Oh that's an easy fix. I could do that."

I leave for San Diego on Thursday evening, so getting together with both these V's and the 3rd V will be kinda tricky, but would really like to see these two again for sure. Dinner plans are pretty much set with respect to locations (Korean BBQ for one V and Italian for the other).

I like that the pharmacist V lives close to me, has a lot of great interests, loves to travel - and actually does it, and she is clearly smart... and has an amazing body too! From the discussion, it seems like she has a lot of time to put towards an LTR. Drawbacks - she isn't much of a animal lover. To put it more precisely, she likes dogs but doesn't like dogs that drool or shed... and I have a golden retriever who does shed a lot. The other drawback was that I sensed a little lack of interest, but she still has some, otherwise she would not have called me back today. The reason this stands out is b/c I told her about the whole V's are ovens bit, and her response was that her co-workers said it's true, but she doesn't seem to share in that experience... which tells me that if she doesn't feel the attraction soon off the bat, she likely believes she never will. So indications of non-interest get my attention. She was also a little hesitant on physical intimacy but was okay with holding hands part of the way back. We'll see how the next date goes.

The other V... I love what she does for a living. The conversation was just amazing and non-stop. The physical intimacy was very nice too, and from a few things in our communications, I know that is NOT going to be an issue. That caught Mr. Happy's attention. Given her degree in vet science, I'm certain she will love my dog. Drawbacks include the distance, and she has a somewhat hectic work schedule, so I don't know how much time we'll have to spend together with the distance - although she said she will make dating a priority if she has a SO.

So, that's my weekend in a long nut-shell!

[Green Eyed Girl]

Sounds like two really good dates.

A few things caught my attention:

1. I wouldn't put too much stress on physical intimacy this early on; MANY girls won't kiss on the first date and it has NOTHING to do with their feelings of physical attraction for an M.
2. I hope you are enjoying these dates and not looking TOO MUCH into the future - that can put a lot of pressure on both you and the V and that won't be fun.
3. Try not to read into EVERY SINGLE THING a V says or does. People say things or do things when they are nervous (like on a first date).

My best advise is to try to enjoy yourself. It's great you have met so many V's you are actually interested in dating. Good for you!

[MandyKay]

Sounds great, MP!

Couldn't ask for better dates or better chemistry. I hope the 2nd dates are as great as the first and that you have a good time with the 3rd V.

[JazzofLife]

MP... how do you do it, man? What's your ancient chinese secret? You're the man. Obviously, you're doing something right and whatever you're doing, you're attracting Vs to you faster than flies stuck to honey. Oh that's right.. you live in the Bay Area I forgot.

From this past weekend, I'm confident if I lived in the Bay Area, I wouldn't have any problems dating Vs. I love SF, the city, the culture, just everything about it. When I left there to come back here to Tennessee, I did not want to step foot on the plane. I so did not. I wanted to stay in SF. When I get my pics developed tomorrow, I will assure anyone (including you) that they'll be somewhere where I can see them everyday. As a reminder of how much I look forward going back to San Francisco next year for additional training, plus staying longer in SF. Gawd how I love that city. It's for me..

Ok, enough of that. So tell me, MP, how'd you do it? What are you doing that can help the rest of us Ms out?

Thanks,
Scott/Jazz