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 Omg I Have It Bad :(, So so in love! Need some guidance... |
 03/02/10 04:31 PM
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#1
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 AMVU Freshman  Gender: 
Group: Registered Users Posts: 209 Joined: 07/30/08 Relationship Status: It's Messy  |
Hi everyone!
Its refreshing to be here - and to not post about my ex! Yay I have moved on - and I am totally in love!! So I went on a few online dates.... and after about 13 *YES 13* dates.... lol I met THE one. Let's call him R. Now we hit it off online very quickly. We chatted and everything just felt right. After about 2 weeks I met him. He lives about 200 km from me... and he drove here and spend the weekend with friends. I met him both on the Saturday and Sunday. This past weekend he came through again, and we spend the both days together again on Saturday and Sunday. He has taken his profile off, although mine is still on. He calls at least once a day to check in... Now to my question. We keep on telling girls on here - that when a guy tells u he isn't ready to be in a relationship - you should believe him. I want to know if the opposite is also true? Lol it must be my head in the clouds that start to analyze things but he will say things like ... 1) I really like u - and would like to have a chance to make u happy 2) I enjoy your company 3) Personally I feel I am getting attached to you 4) In my eyes - you are THE one I've been waiting for.... Now - do u think its normal to say things like that. Can I just believe this... I also feel this guy wants to become sexual with me. He hhas mentioned to a friend that he has never felt this way - and he is also scared that he would be wasting his time. So do you think he is being honest? If we have to believe them when they say "I am not ready for a relationship"... Does the same goes for the positive things they say? I sound very insecure in this post. Just to clarify - lol he doesnt know anything about my insecurities. I'm this super confident woman when with him. Its just I really like him a LOT. I want to do this right... and now I struggle with trust 
-------------------- You see my smile? I feel GOOD!
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03/02/10 04:43 PM
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#2
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AMVU Senior Gender: 
Venusian
Group: Registered Users Posts: 3844 Joined: 05/21/06 |
No, that has not been my experience. In fact, I've found that it's more common than not that guys who express things like that before they really know me are caught up in a fantasy, and that those relationships tend to fizzle just as fast as they start. So I now am dismayed rather than pleased when I hear that kind of stuff early on, honestly.
It takes a good 4-6 months of dating to even really begin to know someone well enough to have an idea of whether they might be right for you. It'll take even longer since you're long distance and can't see each other regularly. So I would take everything that's being said now with a huge grain of salt and an attitude of "we'll see, time will tell". And read up on blowtorching! |
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03/02/10 04:44 PM
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#3
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 AMVU Junior Gender:
Venusian
Group: Peer Moderator Posts: 2335 Joined: 12/02/08 From: Colorado Relationship Status: In a Relationship |
Hi, Nati!
Its so good to see you back on the boards...and how exciting you have met a M you're interested in...this is great to hear... Please do yourself a huge favor and take out M/V Date and get your nose in it asap...it is normal for a M to say these things, but just make sure you guard yourself against blowtorching and getting ahead of the stages...read about the attraction stage and it will help you pace yourself.... Continue to be receptive to his attention and have fun getting to know him....nice and slow...so you have time to build trust and feel comfortable with him... keep us posted, k? |
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03/02/10 04:45 PM
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#4
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 AMVU Sophomore Gender:
Venusian
Group: Registered Users Posts: 1266 Joined: 08/22/05 |
Nati,
How wonderful you have met someone who makes you feel so happy! Your excitement is jumping off the pages and it's so fun when people come here with a happy story. This is a new relationship so believe what he says and at the same time let him prove it to you in his actions. If he is the real deal he will provide, protect, and profess his devotion to you day in and day out. Take at least 3 months to evaluate his character and how you feel about him and the relationship before you become fully intimate with him. This way the trust will build and you'll have a firm foundation to grow in love together. Enjoy the relationship and trust your intuition. Don't give more than what is appropriate for each stage of your relationship even if you feel like he is THE ONE. Let time and experience prove that to you. Good luck! BK |
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| Time is now: 07/31/10 10:03 PM |
