It’s sad but true. Many women, at times, have any combination of not-so-positive mental refrains running through their mind, such as “I need to lose weight!” “Why did I say such a dumb thing?” “Ugh, I just feel so unattractive.” And, though we hate to say it, this is especially common at times of hormonal fluctuations when the wave and well can drag a woman down.
Then, with age, another dreaded word is added to the list. The woman is now telling herself she is fat, dumb, ugly, and old. The addition of this one word “old” can make a woman feel like she’s going down the drain with no chance of coming out for the better on the other end.
Thoughts of dieting, hair dye, wrinkle cream, and Botox treatments torment her thoughts. She is not good enough. She must become more attractive. Thoughts of physical inadequacy are exacerbated by aging. Oftentimes, the result of these massively overwhelming feelings can prompt a desire to be rescued—or rather, validated—by a man in spite of the sagging and unwelcome changes. There is the fear of losing body and then self. While men may worry about getting the “beer belly” or balding, these feelings are not even close to the anxiety reported to be experienced by women.
Death and decline are a natural part of being human, but how we age is not a given. We need to carefully consider our own vision of ourselves so that we can prevent or draw ourselves out of the doldrums of aging. Spring is a great time to do some major mental housecleaning. While the world around you is being reborn, why not take some time to do the same to your spirit? It’s time to sweep your mind clear of all those negative messages whether you’re a bright, young 24 or a graceful, maturing 74!
Negativity—Nip It in the Bud
Begin to pay attention to the daily messages you give yourself about your body and your abilities. Are you laughing at yourself because you can’t remember something and calling it a “senior moment”? Are you and your partner just co-existing, living parallel lives, and you hear yourself saying, “Well, at our age what can you expect?” Or maybe you’re 60 and single and boy, would you like that special someone in your life. But every time you contemplate a partner, you focus on your limp, bald spot, or tell yourself no one is going to be interested in a shrinking, graying person who can’t get around as easily as they once did.
What’s the solution? Halt the negativity; banish that thought. It is only true if you believe it to be true. Give up the negativity and get on your way—no matter your age. Wondering how to make that happen? Read on, learn a little more, and discover the Mars Venus solution.
Filling in the Gaps
If you feel like you’re in a slump because of how you’re looking at yourself right now—whether you’re unhappy with your appearance, income, relationship status, or otherwise—it may seem as though the solution is obvious: change my face/job/etc. and life will be better. But pinpointing exactly what’s dragging you down is a little more involved than this. Negativity can come from one source or many sources; it can build up over time and compound into one big ball of unhappiness and self-doubt. The good news is that it doesn’t have to remain—you can change this once and for all.
Sometimes you have to admit that you need a helping hand to determine all the factors that are influencing your outlook on yourself and life. Very often, you’re too close to your own situation; your family and friends might have difficulty giving it to you straight or not defending you and by doing so enable bad behavior. One solution that works is to turn to an Ask Mars Venus coach for unbiased honesty and support. They can identify causes that you may never be able to see alone.
Calling a coach means you’re taking action and accepting the truth that you are responsible for your own destiny, your view of yourself, and how you tackle life. A coach will help you figure out exactly where pockets of negativity within yourself may be hidden. Is it merely your reflection that’s dragging you down? Oftentimes, the answer isn’t that simple—it’s multi-faceted. You could be feeling negative because of your reflection, yes, but also because of how you imagine others are seeing you as well. We are all our own worst critics.
Your self-worth affects your entire life and what happens in it. Discovering the real sources of your frustration and negativity is the first and biggest step toward making a change in your life. Coaches know the questions to ask to dig a little deeper, to curb the negativity at its source. And from there they will find the best way to develop a plan and a solution that can work for you.
Looking at Your Real Reflection
Facing aging head-on is a daunting task. Women can sink into a slump and feel worthless, undesirable, and overwhelmed. But the solution isn’t about rejecting aging—it’s about accepting it, and making it work for you. The key is to avoid being your own enemy. Most of us have been guilty, at one time or another, of self-sabotage—damaging our frame of mind with negative thoughts, ceasing to believe in our own abilities and appeal. We get in our own way. But this vicious cycle can stop!
Just as you often need a little push to get moving again, get outside, and enjoy the warming weather after a dormant winter, you can probably use a hand to reignite your own personal spark and self-confidence. This revitalization can come in many shapes and forms—and there are a variety of ways Ask Mars Venus coaches can aid you in making this spring the spring of looking ahead, moving forward, and letting go of the past.
Talk to a coach about your desire to improve your self-image, your wish to better communicate your thoughts and feelings in all of your relationships, including personal, work, and family. Work with a coach to find the blocks that are preventing you from being who you want to be. Learn how to fill up all of your love tanks at the right times and in the right ways for you and your life.
No matter what stage of life you’re in now—whether your skin is still elastic or seems to have developed a mind of its own—the actual spring that Mother Nature provides is an opportunity to reignite your life and the love within it. It all starts with Y-O-U. Allow a coach to support you in cleaning up your mental messages to yourself. The rebirth in spring is an exciting time of rejuvenation. And it all begins with fresh, positive thoughts about the possibilities that are always there for you personally and for your relationships.
|
